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Learning to Navigate the Ups and Downs of Marriage with a Clean Mind

Having been a Certified Marriage Coach since 2016, I have empowered hundreds of wives to transform their marriage, but I felt deeply called by God to fully incorporate Catholicism into my coaching and to reach women of faith. The Purgative Way was an answer to prayer!

My husband and I struggled in our marriage for many years, unable to find resources that really worked to save our marriage long-term. We spoke to our priest, who was encouraging but didn’t have specific skills to help. We saw counselor after counselor, even at Catholic Charities, but nothing lasted. Retrouvaille helped some but, my husband is not much for writing his feelings, so that ultimately didn’t work for us either. We were spiraling down fast.  

I cried out to God and he brought me to study what happily married women do and, by the grace of God, I was empowered to transform our marriage! Knowing all too well the deep wounds from when my parents divorced, I never wanted that for our children, nor for any other child. I became a Certified Marriage Coach on a mission to end world divorce because I felt God’s call to help empower wives to transform how they showed up, and to create amazing marriages without dragging their husband to counseling. One person really can change a relationship!

After working on a secular campus coaching wives for many years, God put on my heart that Catholic wives need support too, since the divorce rate is no different from that in secular society.  As I opened myself to His will, I saw Matt & Erin on a virtual conference and was intrigued to learn more. The Holy Spirit was guiding me, leading me to enroll in the Purgative Way.

The Purgative Way course taught me how to guide clients to take their thoughts through reason, to bring God into the mix and to choose thoughts that most align with the Church’s teaching and Divine Revelation. Metanoia Coaching has taken my coaching to a whole new level!

For instance, I had a huge “metanoia moment” one day when feeling unhappy and disappointed that my husband wasn’t meeting my needs. I had shut down, withdrawn and a cold war was brewing.

Through coaching, I was able to see that my eyes were off God and that Satan was luring me into disappointment, blame, judgment and loneliness. This was not my best self, nor was I thinking empowering thoughts.

Through the Metanoia Catholic process of journaling, I reclaimed the belief that full union with Christ is where my strength lies. When I fall into self-reliance or make my husband my savior, I set us up for failure. That’s what I had done expecting him to make me happy… even though I intellectually know this isn’t his job!  My thinking had gotten off track.

As I worked through Exercise 5 of the Metanoia Catholic Journal, a lightbulb went off as I clearly saw that Christ’s love is more than enough! I chose to claim Christ’s love fully, regardless of what my husband, or anyone else, does or doesn’t do.

In that moment, I surrendered to Christ more fully, and let His love and joy into my soul by praying, “Thy will be done,” without conditions and no matter the circumstances.  

Ultimately all I really need is God’s love, and my grief becomes joy that no one, and no circumstance, can take away.  GOD CARES no matter what!  As I softened and fully received this, I knew that all is well with my soul. His love endures forever.

And, voila! My husband was off the hook!  Our cold war quickly thawed and we were restored through the love of Jesus.

Even though I’ve been a coach for many years and have worked with hundreds of clients, I still need coaching. I’m human and emotions can step into the driver’s seat. Satan is seductive. Because of Metanoia Catholic, I now know how to process this and be set free from the victim seat. Praise, Jesus!

When we’re tired, overrun with work and children, exhausted from the rat race of life, our eyes can slip from God and it’s easy for marital struggles to rear their ugly head. It’s normal.  And, there’s a way out.

If you’re a wife who’d like to strengthen a struggling marriage, or to take a good marriage over the top, you’re invited to join my private Facebook community, The Happy Wife Community at (10) Happy Wife Community | Facebook  I’m on a mission to end world divorce and to build an army of wives who stand for marriage and family.  Come join me! And, may God richly bless you in your work with Metanoia Catholic.