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Learning to Love Myself Entirely As God Made Me

Let’s see, where do I start? I would genuinely describe Catholic Coaching through Metanoia Catholic like those Claritin D commercials from the early 2000’s where the screen would be blurry and then BAM! All of a sudden, it’s clear sunny skies for days – does that reference age me or what?

Literally stumbling across Catholic Coach Week last fall opened a door that I firmly believe God had been guiding me to for a year. As a new business owner, I had just decided I was no longer going to invest in coaching programs because I needed to start making money, not losing it, and yet, I couldn’t resist that $19 offer. I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to show up the entire week because after all, I had been notorious for collecting certificates and programs without doing all the work. Yikes!

Something was different this time around. Not only did I show up every single day, but I also did not hesitate to join Catholic Coaching Foundations in the spring. How could I not join? I learned more about myself in that week alone than in the year prior when I started my healing process.

Catholic mindset coaching, quite simply, gave me the words to articulate things I had pondered about myself and about life. It has provided a depth of understanding that aligns with God so I do not have to stress out about it being true or not.

It was the key I did not realize I needed to begin doing God’s will after leaving my employer. It was as though God was giving me that assurance we often seek when we’re wondering if we’re still going in the right direction.

Metanoia Catholic was my answered prayer.

Possibly the biggest gift I have received in this journey, and the kick start to my new business niche, is the discovery of temperaments.

I admit, prior to this discovery, I had a very difficult time loving myself. Yes, I knew I was “special,” and “unique” and I knew God did not make mistakes, but it was all surface-level knowledge for me.

If God didn’t make mistakes, why did He intentionally make me a sensitive, super negative, worry wart that wanted to lead and do the right thing but just didn’t seem to be strong enough when life happened?

Turns out, I’m Melancholic – like 77% Melancholic, and let’s not forget my second highest, Choleric. It felt as though I was the perfect cocktail for a hot mess, and yet, it brought me peace because, not only did I have an understanding of my personality, I was able to be more compassionate when certain tendencies came up. I not only had knowledge of my vices, which I was perfectly well aware of, but also of the virtues I could attain if I could learn how to work with God to bring them out. That gave me so much hope!

What does this have to do with my business?

Well, for so long I was marinating in a pit with my vices, and I had forgotten all the good I wanted to do in my life. This discovery was the kickstart I needed to take courage and pursue God’s will as I had desired, imperfections and all, sensitivities and everything else that came with who God created me to be.

Fast forward to March of this year and I felt this strong desire to work with Catholic parents who are trying to raise their children in the faith but are finding difficulties navigating both faith and parenting. This is a call that was developing over the last 15 years of life since I first taught Catechism and worked with families that would be frustrated that their children were just “not getting it” as they prepared for their First Communion. In combining my catechetical work with my secular work of serving underprivileged children in a mentorship aspect, I witnessed full circle how we can impact the world if we can empower parents to guide their children. This calling was one of those that you know is most likely coming from God because you can’t sleep, your mind is racing a million miles an hour and you can’t seem to think about anything else. Just talking about it got my heart racing and I was certain that this is something God had been preparing me for.

While these wonderful desires were brewing in my heart, it wasn’t long before Satan stuck his nasty nose in my dream and planted seeds of deception.

“You have no idea how to run a business,”

“You literally just started gaining momentum in your last niche, why would you switch now?”

“No one is going to pay you for helping them bring their kids to the faith. It should be free.”

“You should be focusing on homeschooling your kids and taking care of Luca’s speech delay. You have no business starting new things.”

These were just some of many nasty thoughts that made their way and poked holes in the beautiful seed God had planted within me. Prior to me understanding my temperament, this would have been sufficient for me to stop trying.

Praise be to God, Catholic Coaching Certification registrations were coming to an end, and I did something my Melancholic side kind of freaked out about, I signed up. I was afraid to sign up because I felt I wasn’t “smart” enough to join others that seemed to understand the Reason Cycle better than me. Gotta love that perfectionism, am I right?

I knew I had something good happening here, and I knew that if I could better handle my thoughts, there was nothing keeping me from doing God’s will. I knew I still needed guidance and taking one of the biggest leaps of my life, I was prepared to get ridiculously uncomfortable.

Certification has been phenomenal and the perfect guide as I battle the daily intrusive thoughts that come with running a business. I have become accustomed to stepping out of my comfort zone so often, it’s like I don’t even recognize myself. Let me tell you, I absolutely love it because this version of myself IS who God intended me to be, and I know that I will continue to evolve to be the vessel He needs to reach His people through OUR business. I am finally bringing out the virtues I know I am capable of achieving through my God-given personality and not allowing my vices to define me.

There are still pockets of frustration that arise here and there.

There are still moments when the fear and perfectionism creeps in if I am doing the right thing. Did God really call me to this or did I just mistake His voice for mine? And yet I have a beautiful community of coaches and colleagues that are there to remind me of God’s truth, and that keeps me going.

When I think of the parents that I have interacted with that share about their struggles raising their children in the faith, when I think of joyful stories I receive when they implement a new tool and see their children are receptive, it affirms that I am helping people which is what ultimately matters at the end of the day.

I am not the only parent who the enemy wants to keep idle.

I am not the only parent who has felt shame when the children run around Mass like it was a park, or when they throw my veil at the lady behind us (story for another day!).

I am not the only parent who sometimes wonders if I should just wait until my children start Catechism to learn from better suited guides.

Authentically Catholic mindset work has helped me dismantle these lies over and over again, and to be proud of who God created me to be. God has a plan for all of us, and I have started to believe in my heart that He really did not make a mistake when He gave me my unique personality.

It is a privilege being able to share these tools with other parents just like me.

Imagine the world we could live in if our domestic churches were fortified in God?

Imagine the peace of mind we could have if our children’s spiritual armor was so strong and we were not worried about the world’s influence?

Imagine if our children were so rooted in their identity with Christ that they could become a Saint?

This is all a possibility with God, and I am honored to be part of my clients’ journeys!